You can`t always get what you want...

So today I woke up at 5:00 a.m. and could not go back to sleep. I have a bad tendency to not sleep and worry about things that I cannot change. Like having to wake up at 6:45 to go to pray this morning, when all of Mexico is on vacation, and I am working. Or the fact that my kids are here and not on vacation and they are here working like they always do. But I was in charge of pray today, and I had a small pray picked out the read. And the end said that we are always given what we need, not necesarily what we want. And then I started to think about the Rolling Stones song, "You Can`t always get what you want" and it all made sense. The more I have to work and the more I feel like a slave which I feel like all the time, the more appreciative of life I am. And the closer and closer I am getting with my kids. But this past few weeks have been really tiring with all the demands of my job. I am a mother to 11 boys, and they always come to me when they are in need. I mean with everything, if they need a band-aid, a notebook, to open the dorm, or a hug they always ask me. It can get really tiring, but at night I think of all the hugs and kisses I give out, and it is a lot. Alone at night I give all the boys a blessing and a kiss and hug and tell them how much I love them. And most of them now will not go to bed without their blessing, hug, kiss, and I love you. And so when I feel like I give so much of myself to the boys, at the end of the day their simple kiss and hug and them telling me how much they love me is really what my job is all about. And their love for me is the best gift I have ever recieved. Yes I wanted a two week vacation, but after prayer today this just all makes perfect sense to me. These kids really need me and they really love me, when I got on the bus to go to mass I had so many of the boys wanting me to sit with them and hug them. These boys are just such angels and little God sends to have in my life, I cannot imagine how my life will be without them. I just need to tough out these next three days and give the boys as much love as I can, because all they have for me is love. And no I cannot always get what I want, but I have 11 boys who are giving me the most love anyone has ever shown me, and right now that is EXACTLY what I need.

Texas Bound

So vacation is just around the corner and I am terribly missing the U.S and all of its amenities. I have forgotten has nice my freedom was in the states, and how simple we have made our lives to be. I do not have a car here so many times I have to take a bus, which is fine, but it takes about 20-30 minutes to get to the store. Or I have to go with the community which is fine, but we have to run all the errands at once, which means a ten minute trip to the store can be last two hours. So I am just frustrated with Mexico and the people. Plus it is extremely dangerous here right now, all of the highways are highly dangerous. Innocent people are getting killed all for money and drugs. And where are all these drugs going...the U.S. it just sickens me to hear about the innocent getting killed. Thank God I am going to Texas to spend some time with my sister I really need a break from Mexico right now.

On a good note though I wrote letters to my boys who had their retreats. And this was the first retreat for many of them. And the third graders let me kiss and hug them a lot more. And so they all piled on the bus and I was waving bye, and I felt like such a proud mother. When all the boys came back they all told me how much their letters meant to them, and many I was told were crying by the letters. So again I felt like I had accomplished something. We have the boys next week for three days and we are taking them to the pool and on a hike I just love when they get to do stuff they normally never get the chance to do. So wish me luck because there are no classes next week and I will be with them from the time we wake up to the time they go to bed. But I will be rewarded with a nice bus ride to Austin, Texas.

Noé

I was asked to write a story about one of my many adventures here in Casa Hogar, for the annual report for Mi Casa Foundation. So this is what I wrote and how one child has really changed my life.

The day I was told I would be in charge of Chicos B I had somewhat of an idea of the boys since I had spent some previous time with them over the summer. One of the smallest boys in the group is Noé; he was one of the smallest, but one of the brightest and toughest. His smile is so big and cheerful and two simples are absolutely perfectly set on his two cheeks.

Noé comes from a single mother, who works around the clock to keep her three boys fed, clothed, and happy. Noé lives in Casa Hogar with his little brother Alejandro while their sixteen year old brother is in his home with his mother. Well each day I found Noé to be the biggest challenge of Chicos B. Every day he was fighting with other boys or bothering the other boys, until they were forced to fight back. Every day Noé was teaching other boys how to fight like WWE wrestlers in the dorm or during recess. Not only was he fighting, but he has been in Casa Hogar for so many years he knows how to work the system and he was often the leader when all the other boys were in trouble. He either did not have recess or was given another punishment. If he was not fighting with another boy he was stealing. He stole everything from pencils to pens to movies from the store in front of Casa Hogar. Each time I asked why he felt compelled to steal he often looked the other way and was too ashamed to talk directly to me. Each day was a new challenge with Noé and it never seemed to end.

Every day I asked myself, “What is Noé going to do today?” and every day I had to come up with a new punishment for him. After talking to the psychologist and Brother Julian, (the Director) many, many times Elizabeth and I came up with a system of colors, green means very good behavior, yellow some but not many problems, and the dreadful red means the boy was in trouble in school, study hall or fighting. Red means bad behavior and the boy needs to n improve. Well little by little Noé was learning if he received greens and yellows we would have a prize and Coke to drink on Fridays. And little by little his behavior was improving. Now as the year is coming closer and closer to an end he has made leaps and bounds. He barely receives reds, his grades in school are improving, and he is just a joy to be around. His smile lights up my day all the time, and he has the sense of humor of a comedian.

One day after study hall he was leaving and we were both walking and he stopped me and asked if I was going to stay another year in Casa Hogar. And I had to tell him the truth that I needed to go to work. And then he asked me, “well can you stay in Saltillo, and visit me as much as you can because I am going to miss you and I love having you in Casa Hogar.” And I told him if I find a job here in Saltillo of course I would stay and visit him as much as possible. It was in that moment that I realized how far he had come, and how much I had made a difference on him. Many days here in Casa Hogar I have questioned myself and my purpose here, and that day Noé reaffirmed why God placed me in Casa Hogar.

St. Patty`s Day in Mexico

So Happy St. Patty`s day. And no it is not celebrated here in Saltillo but in Monterrey yes it is celebrated. So in the spirit of St. Patty I am going to teach my music class about music from Ireland. Looking forward to the day. The weather is great the boys are doing well minus the fact they never want to sleep at night. And this Friday we are celebrating the feast of Saint Joseph with a festival at school and a mini-olimpics in the afternoon. It should be tons of fun for all of us. I am looking forward to the kids not having to do homework and getting to play all afternoon. Then we are ending the night with mass and dinner. I will keep you all posted.

So this last weekend was a long weekend and it was great I went to a rodeo but it was really old school and Mexican and awesome. The men all had their old school outfits with huge sombreros and big saddles. I have been trying to experience as much of the culture here that I can in these my last few months. Which I cannot believe that this month is halfway over and then I get vacation which is much needed. So I have been eating nothing but Mexican and I am so over it, so if you want to send any food from the US it will be greatly appreciated. Hope you all have a great and safe St. Patty`s day, have a green beer for me!

The Best Week Ever

Ok so let me just say this is the best week ever in Casa Hogar. Here is the rundown of my week.

Sunday
Not one problem with the kids all are here except Gustavo who is sick.

Monday
Weather beautiful, flowers everywhere in Casa Hogar.
Went to Mass and there was no keyboard that they change to the Organ and it sounds like cats having sex. I am sorry to be so blunt, but we have cats on our roof who keep me up all night, and the music in the mass sounds just like that.
Then we had burritos for lunch, and let me just say I have been waiting for burritos since before Christmas.
Again no problems with the boys.
Tuesday
Weather again gorgeous.
Mass was about 20 minutes long.
Lunch was really good chicken.
Music class with the big kids actually went fairly well.
The boys were great.

Wednesday
I told Elizabeth we are going to eat cereal for Breakfast and we did. Well the food in Casa Hogar is hardly edible, but the breakfast is another thing if is not eggs which are a slight shade of green in salsa, it is cheese that does not melt in salsa, and we have to fight with the kids to eat it. And the coffee has about a pound of coffee grinds in it, it is impossible to drink without grinds in your teeth.
So then I told Eliza we are not going to have the fake organ again, and lo and behold we didn´t even have Mass. This was a tiny miracle for me. I am a tad sick of going to mass everyday with the same people and the same songs, and I cannot understand the priest because he does not speak clearly. So all the volunteers were ecstatic that there was no mass.
So then I cleaned the Paper Room and it was a nice but challenging task.
Then I wanted to go to the store, but I checked to see what was for lunch and it was Hamburgers. Thank you Jesus.
All of our kids finished their homework on time.
The medioanos enjoyed their music class.
Our boys got haircuts and I did not have to do it for once.
And it was just a really easy day.

Thursday
Another day of beautiful weather.
Mass for 25 minutes.
Have nothing to do but relax and wait for my Religion Class with the little kids in the afternoon.

Right now life in Casa Hogar is amazing. And I have a three day weekend to look forward to, which is always a bonus, and the volunteers want to go on a trip so Casa Hogar will hopefully be all mine for a few hours. It just gets better and better every day. I did not realize how the little things can really affect me, but they do. For instance eating a Casa Hogar burrito is not much of a burrito at all, but it really made my day. So I need to appreciate the little things in life. And not having mass make me somewhat appreciate it the following day. And since Eliza cannot run and I don´t want to run alone, because the crime rate has gone up and the drug dealers have been up to no good lately. Eliza and I have been going on a date every morning. We walk to the 7-11 which is about 20 minutes away buy a cappuccino and just talk about everything from our kids to our crazy ex-boyfriends. It is our coffee date. And then we have been coming back and ready to work. She has been slaving in the Medicine Room and me in the Paper Room. But it is very rewarding in the end. So I cannot do anything but smile this week and the kids are in great spirits as well.

Bull Fight

This past weekend I went to the Bull Fight with my friend Julio. Since I saw the posters around Saltillo I had been wanting to go, and so we bought our tickets and Saturday headed to the Plaza. This was not something that I wanted to miss, it was on a check list of things to do here in Mexico. So we went and fought our way to the seats because it was general admission. Once we were settled we listened to the music for awhile, and at exactly 4:30 the man came out with his plaque telling us the information about the bull. Well for the first bull I was not ok seeing the bull being stabbed in the back and then repeatedly stabbed and thankfully the bull was directly in front of us so I could not see the poor bull falling to his death. But I still cried and Julio asked if I wanted to leave, but I said I could handle it. So then Pablo Hermoso came out on his horse and he is the best in the world. To see him it was definitely an art form. And then finally my favorite matador came out, and he was amazing. Imagine a really tiny Mexican kneeling while the bull is charging at him full speed. He had a way about him the bulls were completely calm and tranquil. He had a way to mesmerize the bulls. Well it was a wonderful time, once I got over the fact that it is a bit inhumane. It was definitely something I suggest to see. I know that I will never forget my first bull fight, or my last. To me it was a one time thing.

Spring Time

Well I cannot believe it is already March. 2010 is going by so fast, I remember being a child and I thought time was so slow. I never listened to adults who were always talking about the time, and how kids grow up so fast. Well I believe them now, the time here is going by so fast. I remember the first day I arrived here and in September I never thought I would make it to March. But the weather is warming up a lot, which is so nice we can go outside in jeans and a light sweater. And today there are three trees in Casa Hogar with flowers, so Spring is on its way. Now I can only wait for the time when t-shirts and shorts will be perfect. The change in the weather really makes a difference in our kids as well. They are in better spirits when they can run around outside without a huge jacket. The boys are doing great one of our oldest moved up to Medianos and is doing well, and we now have a new boy Gustavo who is gorgeous. He is the cutest little thing with light brown eyes and a chipped front tooth. But he is so handsome it does not matter. He is a little joy to have in Chicos B. Our kids are getting bigger by the day. And day by day their conduct is getting better which is always a plus. It is crazy how these boys are, one day they are on their best behavior and the next we never know what to expect. But they are just so damn cute, and they do things which they are not supposed to and I find myself laughing, (of course they don´t see me smiling at them) but it is just so cute. Alejandro has cleaned out his mouth, Josué is working in school and estudios, Thank God! And the fighting has gone down immensely. We have a great system that works really well, and the boys are reaping the benefits. Chicos B is truly my home. The boys are so special to me I cannot believe I only have 4 more months with them. But watching them grow this past year has really be amazing, I feel like a proud mother of 11.