It´s HOT

After fighting with Alejandro, Arath, and Josué to do their homework, today they all finished during study hall. Josué ran up to me with the biggest smile on his face and proclaimed, "I finished my homework and all by myself:" It was such a great moment, and then Arath and Alejandro ran up to me as well, and said the same words. I had a moment where it felt like God was looking down and doing a dance for me, because I have been trying for months now to get these three to do their homework in study hall. They are all very intelligent but they all share the same problem, LAZINESS. None of them want to do any work all they want to do is play. So after study hall I gave them all a hug, told them will have recess finally instead of having to finish their homework, and I was just beaming with happiness. I felt like all my hard work finally paid off. It was just a perfect way to start the afternoon which is miserably HOT.

Speaking of being hot, I thought this past summer here was hard. But it is HOT, and miserable. I am just so tired all the time, now that I have no one to speak English to my brain is constantly in Spanish which is tiring. I want to sleep all the time, but I cannot because I am so miserably hot. And the kids are not wanting to go and play as they were in the beginning of the year, because it is so hot. We are running out of movies to watch, and I am running out of books to read. I am from the south and the heat usually does not bother me this much, but I think because I have heavily relied on A/C my whole life and I have always had access to a pool in the neighborhood or in my backyard. So now I must rely on fans, drinking water, and staying inside, and these little pieces of heaven called mangonadas/bolos which is nothing more than mango juice frozen or chocolate milk frozen in a bag and sold for 3 pesos. They are my life savers. I know that it is all part of the experience, but my Lord it is hot. And some rain would be nice, even though it is hard to get around in the rain, because the streets flood, my walkway floods, and then the dorms get water. And then the water just sits in front of our door because the drain is clogged with who knows what, the rain makes it chilly and I could use a bout of coldness. Well I must go and endure the heat for now have a great day all you people in A/C, and enjoy :)

My Funny Boys

So I have been thinking how incredible funny the boys are here. The things that come out of their months just cracks me up. The month or I do not remember when Josué refused to do his work. He kept telling me he was too tired, and I kept asking him how he was tired if he did none of his work in school or in study hall. So after 30 minutes or more of him refusing to do work because he was, "too tired" I told him he could go to sleep. It was 8:00, well he quickly changed his mind and told me that he was not tired, but his finger was tired. Again how a finger can be tired if beyond me, but the boy did no work all day so entirely impossible.

Or when we are just walking and a kid will burst out with some horrible bodily functions, and all the boys are just laughing at the boys who "did it." I just think it is funny to be around boys all the time. I mean their bad habits like spitting are really rubbing off on me. Or when they are running in an area where they are not supposed to be and then they fall, but they never get hurt they just laugh it off and we all laugh with him. Or when the boys are supposed to be showering and instead they are dancing in their towels. Or when they are in the shower or in the bathroom and they do not know that I am in the dorm and they start singing, I just love it. They just say and do the funniest things. I wish everyone who read this blog spoke Spanish, because the things that they say in Spanish just are not funny in English, you have to understand it to appreciate. Or when the boys are in line and one is not paying attention and all the others get on to him again for some reason is funny. I do not know why, maybe my quality of humor has gone down since I have been living with boys this whole time. I do not know all I know is when I was explaining to Gladys (ex-volunteer from last year) about the Josué thing we were just cracking up. Anyway if you are reading this and have children try and remember all the things they do funny, because later on it will really make you smile, like my kids do here.

Oh the water in Casa Hogar

Yesterday the water that we drink was tasting and smelling rather horrible. So Majo, Cesy and I decided to clean out the water dispenser. Well it smelled as if an animal crawled in the thing and died. So I suggested to use a bit of bleach to kill the smell and clean out the filtration system. Well Majo told me to use the way more bleach than I should have so we spent an hour pouring and draining water to clean out the system. And then I covered up the bleach smell with lemons, but then we had pure lemon water, and so I spent more time pouring and draining the water. Just another one of our bright ideas here in Casa Hogar.



Then I went to take a shower this morning and I have no water. So we have 5 girls now sharing a shower. Cesy and Angie have no hot water and will not have hot water because Felipe (the man who does and can fix everything) is having to break open all the cement with a sledgehammer and change all the pipes which look like they have been in the ground since 1900. So we are all sharing a shower which has no shower head the water just streams out like a hose. And in the same bathroom the handle is broken on the toilet so you have to lift the cover and pull the chain for the water to go down. So the water problems are huge right now, but at least we have clean water to drink that does not taste funny and I got to shower.

On other news, the boys have that end of the year itch and not wanting to do much in school or here. The weather is so nice all they want to do is play and have a good time. Which I cannot blame them, but I am tired tired tired. Especially when I have to fight with 11 boys to make sure they are where they are supposed to be and doing what they are supposed to be doing. So there is only 2 full months and a week left to go, and I am sure that each week will get harder, because I remember those last few weeks of school, and not wanting to do much then but God this is difficult. All I need is some patience to get me through these next 2 months, and a vacation to look forward to.

Changes in Casa Hogar

So I came back from my wonderful vacation with my sister and brother-in-law. And I mostly slept, relaxed, and enjoyed some amazing home cooked food. Well I came back on Wed. and all the volunteers were still on their vacation, so I just enjoyed my time here alone and relaxed some more, I never thought that I was so tired. I knew that I was ready to come back, and that was a good sign, and I was ready to see the boys and the volunteers. Well I was so happy to see the kids and the volunteers I was in tears just overjoyed and so emotional to be back home with my kids. I know this work was going to be tough, but I am really starting to think about the day when I actually have to leave my boys, and how sad and hard that is going to be for me. So I just have to continue to enjoy and take in as many positive things that I can. Well I have been thinking a lot about my next step in life, and I have gone back and forth with a lot of things but I think I have finally come up with something that will work out for me. And I know God will not lead me astray. So we shall see what is to come of that.

On another note, Elizabeth the other volunteer who came with me decided to leave and go home this past weekend. And so she said her goodbyes this morning to me at 4:00 a.m. and said her goodbyes to all the kids yesterday. It just all happened so fast I do not think that it has really hit me that I am the only one now representing Mi Casa and the U.S. here. But I have such a great support system here with the bothers, volunteers and my friends. And then at home I have so many people on my side and praying for me I think I will be just o.k. Actually I know that I will be fine, because God has never given me a challenge that I cannot handle, and this is yet another challenge and I know that I can get through it. I am actually excited to see all the changes around here, I will know be working with a different volunteer and I am the one in charge. And it is like I really have to step up to the plate these next 3 months. And I know that I can stick it out and just give as much love to the kids that they need, because that is really what it is all about, the boys and nothing more.

Reflection

SO I am sitting in my sister's house in Texas and just thinking how amazing my life has turned out. I have really been trying to figure out my next move in life, but I have decided to stop tyring to make all kinds of plans, and just live. I need to stop focusing on what is going on happen and really enjoy these days with my boys. I will go back to Casa Hogar and only have three months left with my boys and my community. Although I have had some ups and downs with them, they have been my family and my support system here. They are the ones who I have gone to when I needed to have a good cry or when I was down they knew how to make me laugh. They have been wonderful to work with. And my boys have just been so amazing to me, everyday I thank God that I have 11 boys at night to tuck in, and tell I love you. This experience has changed my life in so many aspects. I really do not care where I am going to end up in three months, because I was given the best gift anyone could ever receive and that is my boys. I have really been thinking about them since I am here in the States and enjoying my vacation. I hope that they are doing the same with their families and friends. And hopefully staying out of trouble. So I can still say that these boys are just little angels who have been placed in my life, and they are so amazing.

You can`t always get what you want...

So today I woke up at 5:00 a.m. and could not go back to sleep. I have a bad tendency to not sleep and worry about things that I cannot change. Like having to wake up at 6:45 to go to pray this morning, when all of Mexico is on vacation, and I am working. Or the fact that my kids are here and not on vacation and they are here working like they always do. But I was in charge of pray today, and I had a small pray picked out the read. And the end said that we are always given what we need, not necesarily what we want. And then I started to think about the Rolling Stones song, "You Can`t always get what you want" and it all made sense. The more I have to work and the more I feel like a slave which I feel like all the time, the more appreciative of life I am. And the closer and closer I am getting with my kids. But this past few weeks have been really tiring with all the demands of my job. I am a mother to 11 boys, and they always come to me when they are in need. I mean with everything, if they need a band-aid, a notebook, to open the dorm, or a hug they always ask me. It can get really tiring, but at night I think of all the hugs and kisses I give out, and it is a lot. Alone at night I give all the boys a blessing and a kiss and hug and tell them how much I love them. And most of them now will not go to bed without their blessing, hug, kiss, and I love you. And so when I feel like I give so much of myself to the boys, at the end of the day their simple kiss and hug and them telling me how much they love me is really what my job is all about. And their love for me is the best gift I have ever recieved. Yes I wanted a two week vacation, but after prayer today this just all makes perfect sense to me. These kids really need me and they really love me, when I got on the bus to go to mass I had so many of the boys wanting me to sit with them and hug them. These boys are just such angels and little God sends to have in my life, I cannot imagine how my life will be without them. I just need to tough out these next three days and give the boys as much love as I can, because all they have for me is love. And no I cannot always get what I want, but I have 11 boys who are giving me the most love anyone has ever shown me, and right now that is EXACTLY what I need.

Texas Bound

So vacation is just around the corner and I am terribly missing the U.S and all of its amenities. I have forgotten has nice my freedom was in the states, and how simple we have made our lives to be. I do not have a car here so many times I have to take a bus, which is fine, but it takes about 20-30 minutes to get to the store. Or I have to go with the community which is fine, but we have to run all the errands at once, which means a ten minute trip to the store can be last two hours. So I am just frustrated with Mexico and the people. Plus it is extremely dangerous here right now, all of the highways are highly dangerous. Innocent people are getting killed all for money and drugs. And where are all these drugs going...the U.S. it just sickens me to hear about the innocent getting killed. Thank God I am going to Texas to spend some time with my sister I really need a break from Mexico right now.

On a good note though I wrote letters to my boys who had their retreats. And this was the first retreat for many of them. And the third graders let me kiss and hug them a lot more. And so they all piled on the bus and I was waving bye, and I felt like such a proud mother. When all the boys came back they all told me how much their letters meant to them, and many I was told were crying by the letters. So again I felt like I had accomplished something. We have the boys next week for three days and we are taking them to the pool and on a hike I just love when they get to do stuff they normally never get the chance to do. So wish me luck because there are no classes next week and I will be with them from the time we wake up to the time they go to bed. But I will be rewarded with a nice bus ride to Austin, Texas.